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David Hayward (The Naked Pastor) jotted down these observations after speaking to church leavers during his recent vacation. It's consistent with the findings of Alan Jamieson, in his book A Churchless Faith. Both David's remarks and Alan's book are worth thinking about.
On my vacation I met with many people who have left the church. They are people I know and love. So from the start I want to say that these are generalizations. I do realize others might have more positive things to say. But what I hear from the people I talk with is pretty consistent. This is not my opinion. I’m not making judgments. This is just what I hear:
- When they’ve been gone from church for a while and return they are all shocked by the strange lingo that people talk. It is a coded and getto-ized language that no one else understands but insiders.
- When they go back more than once, suddenly there is a huge feeling of expectation that weighs down on them. They know that if they commit at all, they are going to have to meet certain expectations.
- Although few admit it, shame is an important and powerful tool used to keep sins, weaknesses, struggles and differences concealed.
- One quickly learns that although indulgences ended officially many years ago, money is still an effective means to earn rank, privilege and allowances within a community.
- One discovers almost immediately what the belief system to be embraced is. Critical and inquisitive thinking is generally not welcomed.
- Although it is rarely ever explicit, competition and the disdain for other religions and even other churches percolates through the attitudes, language and actions of the community.
- Orientation, condition and status (examples: divorced, single mom, living together, gay, addict, etc.) are the equivalent of brands that are accepted or not.
- If you come and go, in the end no one really seems to notice or care.
- You are expected to grow only if it enables conformity.
- Even though, if you keep going, you feel you are being knitted into the community, there is a strange feeling that there is something conditional about your acceptance and membership.
- http://bit.ly/gSxXB
One big point you are missing is this: people have access to more knowledge than ever before. They are not as ignorant as they were decades ago. Therefore people will no longer sit in church and listen to preachers talking crap. No offense, but the Dutch Reformed church has NOT learned from it's previous mistakes and is still one of the few apartheid institutions left in the New South Africa. They still only cater to middle class afrikaans speaking citizens. When the church takes it's calling serious again, then only will non-chuch goers start taking the church serious.
ReplyDeleteNo offense taken. Help met learn. What is the picture you have of a church that is taking it's calling serious? How does it differ from the church today? What will it take for us to change to make you feel welcome and experience the love of God. (That is really what we want to do - but I can see that we are not succeeding)
ReplyDeleteThe body of Christ consists of numerous parts. The love of Christ allows us to become a member of one of those numerous parts; if we choose to. Like all discilplines in eg academic, physical etc. we start to walk the walk and start to talk the talk. I have felt both allien and welcome in churches where customs/people differ from what I am used/expected to, but could I find God there? My oupa het gesê: "mens kan 'n perd net tot by die krip bring. Jy kan hom nie maak drink nie". Ilse
ReplyDeleteIt is all about GOD. I seem that everyone is trying to make an excuse not to listen and point fingers to churches. The WORLD is telling us what we want to hear. If you feel uncertain about the Church read the Bible. Let GOD talk to you direct. Talk to GOD in payer. Open your heart to GOD it is an amazing experience
ReplyDeleteMense gaan uit die kerk want die prediking het afgewater geraak. Mense gaan hoofsaaklik kerk toe om te hoor wat God se. Dan stap jy moeg uit na al die hope goed wat plaasvind. Kerk moet prediking, lof en aanbidding wees. Nie al die ander duisend afkondigings terugvoer en bemarking nie. Gebruik die internet daarvoor. Ek stel belang maar net nie gedurende kerk tyd nie. Dan is ek anders ingesteld. Dit moet ook nie so koud wees nie - nie die beste profesionele aanbieding nie, maar liefdevol en warm. Louise
ReplyDelete